My hubby is CPA with a masters degree in tax accounting.  He has practiced as a tax accountant for forty-five years.  That is a lot of years.  He recently heard a comment from a congressperson regarding Social Security that has compelled him to clarify the Social Security issue or non-issue.

LEECHES OR BENEFICIARIES?
By Loren McCann CPA, MS Tax

I recently read where one of our Congressmen accused Social Security recipients of sucking on the government welfare teat and being one of the major causes of the government’s financial crisis.  This Congressman seemed unaware that Social Security is a trust fund set up for the benefit of those designated as beneficiaries.  Trust law is one of the better defined bodies of law.  Trustees are legally bound to manage a trust for the sole benefit of the beneficiaries.  Trustees are prohibited from self-dealing or in any way diverting the funds to anyone other than the beneficiaries.  The Internal Revenue Service recognizes these rules quite well in their efforts to collect taxes that have been withheld from workers and held in trust for the Federal Government by the employer.  If the employer does not pay over the trust funds withheld, the IRS will assess a penalty on the person or persons who should have been acting as trustee for the funds.  And lest you think the function of trustee is not viewed seriously, the penalty is 100% of the taxes withheld from the employees and not paid to the government.

When our Congresspersons talk about the Social Security Trust Fund, they do not seem to know what a trust is or what their responsibility as trustees is.  Rather than decrying the payment of the funds to the beneficiaries, they should be trying to secure the principal so that those beneficiaries receive the funds that have been (or should have been) set aside for them.  As trustees of the funds, they are responsible to see that the funds are available when needed.  We as the people of this nation need to hold Congress responsible, not letting them try to avoid their duty by blaming someone else or re-defining the purpose of Social Security to the detriment of the intended beneficiaries.

Loren McCann

By Delinda McCann

I feel strongly that all those with a public voice must participate in the dialogue on gun violence.  As a social psychologist who has worked with at-risk youth and participated in similar dialogues at the state level, I feel compelled to add my voice to the discussion.  I have three articles prepared on this subject.  This first addresses the gun/human relationship.

I am all for allowing people the freedom to have those things that are important to them so I am not particularly anti-gun. However, I am going to have to ask my dear friends to stop posting the heartfelt letters from veterans, celebrities or some ignorant preacher that vilify any restrictions on gun ownership or the purchase of ammunition. 

You know the letters I am talking about.  They are usually well written and describe eloquently how this person was afraid all the time until they got their gun.  The letters may go on to talk about rights and how plausible it is that guns will be needed against some nefarious gangster or the US Government.  I also understand we are about to celebrate gun appreciation day.  I do have a few things to say on the topic.

First, about those letters, I am a social psychologist. I’ve worked with at-risk populations for over forty years.  Part of my job has been psychological assessment.  Folks, the people who write those passionate letters about their guns are not healthy people and probably should not have unlimited access to weapons.  It is neither normal nor healthy to be afraid all the time.  If you are afraid to leave your home unarmed, you need to change your habits and seek help.  Fear is the one emotion that will destroy your body.  The adrenalin reaction you receive from strapping on your gun to leave the house may feel good, but it will destroy the heart.  Get help before your fears kill you.

Think about the whole gun issue from this perspective.  Substitute the word sewing machine for gun.  Would you think I was silly for wanting a sewing machine appreciation day?  Actually this sounds kind of fun, we could have a big sewing expo with ideas for quilting, crafts, and fashion design.  I’d love it, but you know, I don’t think sewing machines, despite the fact that they help create good things, are worthy of a day to honor them. 

What if I were to write an impassioned letter talking about how bored I get without my sewing machine?  I could talk about how panicked I was just before Christmas when my old machine blew its mother-board.  What about my search for a machine to borrow because Christmas wasn’t going to be so merry without a sewing machine in the house?  Oh! I could talk about my fear of torn hems.  I need a sewing machine to defend me from torn hems.  I could get on a paranoid rant about government control of bobbins.  I’d sound like a bit of a fruitcake if I talked this way.  My diagnosis would be somewhere in the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder spectrum.  There are drugs for that.

My sewing machine is a useful item.  I do use it regularly for little mending projects and the occasional quilting project.  I have always loved my machines, but they are not necessary for my mental health.  We have a serious problem in our country when a significant portion of the population declares a physical item necessary for mental health.

Since I call myself someone who believes in the teachings of Jesus, I need to address the “Christian” aspects of gun ownership.  Nowhere in the New Testament does Jesus advocate arming ourselves.  Remember he was preaching to people living in an occupied country.  The Romans did not worship the God of Abraham yet Jesus taught his followers to get along with the occupiers.  He did on occasion advocate peaceful resistance to burdensome demands.  He repeatedly advised his followers not to worry.  “Fear not” is commonly used through the Bible.  “Trust in the Lord” is another common command.  Christianity is not a religion of fear, but of trusting.  As for the desperate trust in a physical object to allay fear, that is idolatry and strictly forbidden. 

I don’t believe that gun control is the sole answer to our current problems with violence in this country.  I do believe addressing the mental health issues behind the idea that guns are a solution is necessary.  I would also remove guns from the hands of those so unstable that they need a gun to feel safe. I think we need more social services.  Poverty is linked closely to violence.  We need to address issues of poverty.  We need to look at our entertainment industry and at least discuss the role that violence-and-fear-mongering-as-entertainment play in the degradation of society. A dialogue that focuses exclusively on guns is too narrow.  On the other hand, we also need to address the issue of easy access to weapons for a population with some serious paranoia issues.

From the Desk of:
President Jake Jaconovich

Two nights ago at dinner, Celia mentioned a report on government transparency that she had found on the internet.  The report rated many countries, but had left out mine.  My first thought about being excluded was that the individuals doing the rating were unaware of our existence.  Apparently, I was wrong.

While still at the dinner table, Andrew my chief of staff, displayed the bad manners of pulling the report up on his Blackberry.  His quick scan of the report told him that the authors thought my country was too poor to be included individually and lumped it with several other poor countries then rated us all as having a poor record.  This was unjust on their part.

The report turned our dinner discussion toward the decision making process employed by my office.  Vice President Anatole, and Andrew were soon reduced to tears of laughter.  It seems they think my decision making process is a bit obscure.  I am surprised at this attitude because everybody in the country knows that I insist on equality before the law.  That is why I fought so hard to prosecute Leon Fortenac and worked long hours on the prosecution of President Hab Vanderholm.  Nobody is above the law.  I suspect that certain portions of the population in this country cannot grasp this basic concept.  Even the rich and privileged will be prosecuted in a manner appropriate to the seriousness of their crimes.  If this policy seems whimsical and unjust to others, they need to look at their own values. 

As for matters concerning the day-to-day operation of our country, I cannot tell you how I will solve any given crisis before it arises.  I do my research then I roll with whatever is in front of me.  I do try to work with the facts before me and not run aground on who should do what, or how someone else should behave.  Should is not reality.

After giving the matter some more thought, I admit that I have heard numerous complaints that our processes for fighting crime are not open.  This is correct from one perspective.  We will not disclose the names or the whereabouts of informants.  We do not have a traceable system for protecting our sources.  I believe such a system would be subject to security breaches.  In M’TK Sewer Rat: Birth of a Nation, I describe my efforts to protect Mr. LaBarge after he gave us the information needed to charge Hab Vanderholm.  This description is as close as I will come to disclosing methods of protecting informants.  Our methods vary from case to case.

As for access to information, I insist all government studies and operational files be open to university students.  I do not make personal information about security personnel public information.  I know that many have complained loud and long that we have not made certain information available.  First, we do not have a file containing government contacts with UFO’s because we have never been contacted by extraterrestrials.  Likewise, we do not have files on our contacts with foreign terrorists, or money received from foreign governments.  Our criminal and extremist populations are sufficient to produce our own terrorists so we do not need to rely on foreigners for random bombings etc.   We are of little economic importance in the world so we do not receive aid from foreign governments.  While we acknowledge that we are poor, we are also proud enough to support ourselves.

I also do not believe I need to disclose the extent of our military technology.  It is common knowledge that we have two coast guard ships--build in Italy in the early nineteen sixties, I believe.  The southern provinces once owned a gunboat that they used for shelling northern villages.  Contrary to popular Southern opinion, that boat sank years ago.  Its approximate location is about five kilometers offshore, slightly north of a place called Rocky Bay.  I cannot produce the boat, but I have just disclosed its location.  Anybody who wants to verify the information may go looking for it.  Go unarmed, and do not harass the locals.

Another complaint I hear every time we have an election is that our balloting process is secretive and unfair.  I assume the accusations of unfairness come from the fact that we will not count homemade ballots.  Also, we do not disclose who will print official ballots or the type of security measures used to be certain that only official ballots are counted.  We have no way of knowing how any individual voted.

Finally, all of the information surrounding the adoption of our first and second constitutions is covered in my autobiography.  I acknowledge that many people of privilege in this country do not call my administration fair.  Many of them have been processed through our courts for tax evasion if not for more serious offenses.  I want to be perfectly clear that I will not have one standard of justice for the poor and another for the rich.  I think this may be the root of accusations of unfairness.

Introduction From President Jake Jaconovich

My biographer Delinda McCann wrote an article on foreign adoption, a topic on which she is certainly expert, but…well…boring.  I do respect her abilities as a writer.  She can be quite entertaining in person.  I often chuckle at how she tells a story. However, let that woman near a social topic and she becomes tedious.  I’m sure her articles are appropriate for a professional journal that nobody reads, but well….   To save my dear readers from her professional jargon, I have undertaken to write a few articles for her while she cleans her house.  It seems her house became quite disorganized while she was helping me with my autobiography.

***

Learning to Love All Our Children

By President Jake Jaconovich

First, I’d like to commend my colleague President Vladimir Putin for signing a bill barring adoptions to the US.  He needs to go much further toward stemming foreign adoption, as do I, for I’ve become convinced that it is very hard for children to adjust to yet another disruption in their young lives.  The ability to adjust is particularly challenging for children born to women who use alcohol.

My own country is very poor so I am well aware of the problems of orphaned children.  When my own children were small, I had three orphaned children living in my home.  They were the housekeeper’s niece and nephews.  I realized then that these children were the poorest of the poor.  They had nothing—not even a mama or papa.  We worked hard to give them stability and love, but they were hurt and grieving.  When I think about further traumatizing such children by sending them to a foreign country my heart weeps. 

When I became ill, my papa sent my housekeeper and the children to live with her extended family in the country.  We just didn’t have enough adults in my household to keep the children safe and give them all the love they needed.  One thing we did right was to keep the children together.  Their love for each other was their greatest source of healing.  I wish I could have done more to convince the oldest who was only five when he left us that he did not have to work to support the younger children.  He needed to be a baby much longer than he allowed himself to be.

I got my second lesson on orphans when I took my beloved Celia to an orphanage to see if she had any insights on how to care for my nation’s precious children.  At that time, we were still sending many children overseas.  I can’t help but smile when I think of her determination to save every child in my country.  Of course, love was the key element.  Love proved to be more important than money.  It was Celia who taught me that the children would form sibling-like relationships with each other.   When we started watching and learning from the children we discovered that they often adopted their caregivers as parents.  How thankful I am that I did not fire the administrator of the orphanage in the capital!  The children looked upon her as their mama or auntie.

I had ample opportunity to learn about loving orphans when Celia installed a hundred children in The Compound, which is the president’s residence in my country.  That woman had more creative ways for providing homes for our children--even to the point of ordering my military about.  The key element in our transition away from foreign adoption was to help our children form sibling family groups within an extended family of other orphans who became cousins.  The people in my country are still very close with their extended families so our plan for the children fit well with our culture. 

In the very near future I hope to work with other countries to find more ways to provide for our children within our country.  I am convinced that all our children especially those with brain damage from pre-natal exposure to alcohol do better growing up speaking their birth language, eating the same foods their parents ate, and living in a culture with extended family support.  Learning how to convince each child in our country that they are thoroughly and completely loved should be the highest priority for leadership.  When we provide for the most helpless and vulnerable, then we are providing for everybody.

Thank you for listening to my story,

President Jake Jaconovich

Aka The M’TK Sewer Rat